Dark Cloud with Silver Linings

One of my favourite things to do post retirement is to call my friends who are still working and extol the virtues of retired life. To tell them how great it is that I don't have to attend any life-sucking meetings knowing full well that my friend has to attend one in 15 minutes. That I will never be appraised by my boss. Or have to commute for hours. By the end of the conversation, my friends become miserable and that sets my heart aglow. It's the little thing that makes me happy. My friends, on the other hand, seethe with rage and start calling me nonsensical names. Many of them call me ‘Dementor’ under their breath. I checked online and found out that Dementors are malevolent creatures in the Harry Potter universe that feed on human happiness and leave a trail of despair and coldness.

See? Totally nonsensical!

Recently during one such call with my friend, he asked me with disbelief, ‘Are you trying to tell me that you liked nothing about your 17 year corporate career?’

Well…

Money

This may seem obvious but allow me to elaborate. I came from a middle class family which meant no money spent on supposedly frivolous things such as designer clothes, fancy restaurants, exotic trips etc. till my early 20s. We had a comfortable life but I never saw my parents indulging themselves. And at that age that did not feel out of place because in my tier-2 hometown, everybody I knew was living pretty much the same life. When I left my hometown for engineering and MBA, the allowance provided by my parents was just enough to get by. Before buying anything, there used to be quick mental calculations regarding budgeted provisions for this and other essential things.

But when I received my first salary, the numbers on the ATM screen shifted something inside my mind. The amount was 10 times more than the biggest amount I had ever handled at that point. I suddenly realised that now if I want something, the next step will be to just buy it. The intermediate step of mental calculations was no longer necessary.

In my hometown, we passed by a 5-star hotel often as it was near my high school. That place was so fancy that our family did not even dream about going there. When I came back to my hometown for the first time after getting a job, I asked my parents to get ready to go out for dinner. I called up a cab and we started towards our favourite restaurant… at least, that's what my parents thought. As our cab stopped at the five star hotel, the look on my parents face was quite entertaining. First incomprehension then dawning realisation and lastly, absolute horror. I practically had to drag them inside the hotel.

The rest of the evening went as you could imagine. My parents were overwhelmed by the decor, became uncomfortable by the over-the-top ministration of the staff and almost fainted when they saw the prices on the menu. I had to reassure them repeatedly that I had multiple bank cards as well as enough cash.

At the end of the meal, I ordered three coffees and paid the bill. At that point, I saw my Dad lean back in his seat for the first time and he looked over the city with a slight smile on his lips. He realised that he had just experienced how the one percenters live. He was appalled by the ostentatiousness of the whole thing but also low key proud that his son could afford it. That look on my dad's face is what I meant when I said that I appreciated the money I received during my corporate life. Cause it enabled me to shock my parents multiple times over the years with similar experiences .

Relationship Management

I don't like interacting with people. Not because I am a narcissist (which I am) but because most people have nothing interesting, funny or knowledgeable to say. Instead, I could read a book or watch a movie/ documentary and be more entertained. So I tried to avoid people as much as possible. Engineering and MBA colleges tried to make me more sociable by forcing me to do a lot of group assignments but I countered that by working only with people I got along with. So by the time I finished my MBA, I was fairly certain that maintaining relationships with people I don't like is not needed. In a rare occurrence… I was wrong.

When I started working I thought I will do my part of the assignment and other people will do their part and that will be that. No need to know each other. But soon I realised that things in the corporate world are not so straightforward. You have to flatter, cajole people into giving the inputs that you need. You need to maintain a very good relationship with your boss to avoid shitty assignments. You need to be chummy with HR to be able to escape harassment allegations (Kidding).

So I learnt to show interest in the boring stories of my colleagues, straight up lie about how cute their kids look and participated in inter-office gossip. It was difficult in the beginning but got easier as time went by. The effect was nothing short of magical. I started getting willing cooperation from everybody, I was given good assignments and pretty much had an easy time in all my companies. And I realized something.

People don't deliberately try to be boring. It's who they are. There is no malice involved and many of these people are perfectly decent folks. And though I don't enjoy their company, I don't have to let them know that. A little effort on my part will make our interactions frictionless. Not to mention make my life a lot easier.

Pretty soon, this behaviour started to seep into my personal life and navigating relatives visits, family functions became a lot more tolerable. All because of the relationship management lessons I learn in my corporate career.

World Citizen

Growing up, I had seen many firangi movies, TV series and that First World fascinated me. I often daydreamed about working in Manhattan, surfing in Hawaii and dodging Godzilla attacks in Tokyo. But for a middle class kid in the early 90s, it was nothing but a distant dream. And then in the early 2000s, my company sent me on assignments abroad for a couple of years.

I stayed in the UK and US for a year each and it was a very rewarding experience. I got to enjoy the first world infrastructure, people with exceptional civic sense and a near pollution free life. My stay in those countries also gave me clarity on the differences between vacationing abroad and permanently settling there. You can vacation for novelty but you settle when there is a sense of belonging. Which I did not feel abroad.

I also got to stay in 4,5 big cities in India and experience that life. And though eventually, I choose the sanctuary of my hometown for retired life, I have had many pleasant experiences in those metro cities for which I'll be grateful to my companies.

Obviously I told my friend none of this. He would have started feeling better about his own corporate servitude and that would have defeated the purpose of my call to him. Personally, I have to agree that while 17 years in the corporate world often felt like a relentless grind filled with stress, rigid routines and missed personal moments, it wasn't without its silver linings. The journey, though tough, brought valuable lessons in discipline, resilience, communication and professionalism. It helped in shaping who I am today and gave me the clarity to recognize what truly matters.

Anyhoo… it's Monday morning again. Time to make a few calls :)